Georgia: Denial

Greetings!  When I woke up this morning, I dreaded getting out of bed.  I took an extended Spring Break to spend a week in Cuba, and I knew that today was going to be a harsh return to reality.  I also was hit with the realization that we are getting closer and closer to the end, that scary thing called graduation.  Though we are only 54 days away (cue the anxiety) from the end of the world as we know it graduation, it feels like it is a world away.  The lovely little thing that is keeping me from realizing how close this fateful day truly is something I’ve come to realize total, absolute denial. 

I have always been someone who is very on top of things, but lately, that has all changed.  For example, I was supposed to write this blog post two weeks ago, before we went on Spring Break.  It was not until last week when I was sipping my morning coffee in Cuba that I realized I never wrote a blog post.  I began to realize in that moment that I was putting things off and not doing things as a form of denial, a way to avoid embracing the end and all that is to come with it.  My denial about graduation and the end of my time at Rhodes has become something that is keeping me from jumping head first into things and living in the present.

I do not like “lasts” or “goodbyes” and those moments are part of the reason that I am living in denial.  One of the main problems with constantly living in denial is that there is no way to live in the present.  Living in the Ruka is something that has challenged me to remain living in the present, not worrying about the future or living in absolute denial.  The women I live with continuously encourage me to be present, slap some intentionality into my life and conversations, and live in the moment.  Though we have come to realize that we try to avoid the subject of future plans like the plague (hello denial!), the conversations we do have not only remind me to enjoy the moments we have together now, but also encourage me as I know I will have these wonderful women by my side (literately and figuratively) through the end of the school year and beyond.

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